So you’ve all seen the 2DS right? Let me assault your eyes.
Like one site member said, it looks like badly sliced bread. And how long would your index finger need to be to hit the L button when using the D-Pad? Maybe they will sell a finger extender peripheral.
Well, no matter how ugly you think this is, there are a few worse looking consoles. Not a lot but a few. Here they are:
5. The Virtual Boy
Not only ugly, but also responsible for searing pain in your eye sockets after twenty minutes (or less) of gameplay. Other consoles may be ugly, but no others are “physically hurt you” ugly. And as if the console wasn’t ugly enough, look at that pad (and that jumper)!
4. The Mega CD 32X Mega Drive
Look at this crap all over the lovely Genesis/Mega Drive! Always a handsome console, there’s something tragic and evil about these growths sprouting from the 16-bit legend. They’re like fungus. Literally, the 32X looks like a big ugly mushroom!
3. Hanimex 7771
It’s not just the retro design of this one, it’s the shade. What colour is that? It’s not brown exactly. How hard did they have to work to choose such a terrible colour. I mean really, is there a worse colour they could have chosen? This isn’t a rhetorical question, I really want to know. Is there?
2. Nintendo 64 Pokemon Pikachu Edition Blue & Yellow
Hm, lovely. There’s something about blue and yellow that’s deeply offensive to the eyes (unless it’s on a Brazilian football strip). I can’t quite identify why this is so awful, but it offends me with its very existence. And that big Pikachu embossed thing just freaks me out.
1. The Panasonic/Goldstar/Sanyo 3DO
This console takes the top spot because of a peculiarity of its licensing system. Essentially, different companies could all make their own 3DO’s by paying a royalty fee. I imagine they all got in a room together and agreed to make 3D0 have three unique design features: it always had to be ugly, grey and absolutely huge. These consoles makes a Neo Geo cartridge look dinky. And all of them, every one, is painfully, eye-stabbingly ugly. This trio of terror wins the 3DO our top spot as the ugliest console ever made. The 2Ds doesn’t looks so bad now does it?
…Actually, it still does.