Five Hilarious Time-Wasting Games
We here at CalmDownTom are a procrastinating bunch. When we are supposed to be writing about games, we are playing games. When we are supposed to be playing games, we end up playing OTHER games. Such is the life of the game critic. Learn to be just like us and play five of our favourite time-wasting games!
Our first pick is also the only one on this list that has a potential to cost you money. That shouldn’t dissuade you from having a look however as the demo alone has more than enough content to keep you entertained for hours.
The basic premise of Sumotori Dreams is simple: You and a friend (Or a computer) square off in a ring and using the ancient and revered art of sumowrestling you must fight each other until one falls over. The real beauty of the game comes through the characters themselves – the two blocky characters you control play like they’ve just come from a six hour long pub crawl. Once a round is over the beauty continues to unfold as each character inevitably falls to the ground and spends the next five minutes trying to get back up in comical ways.
Toribash is a game that requires a little more involvement in order to get the most out of it. That practice however is what can really hook you. Tagged as Violence Perfected, Toribash has you controlling a competitor in a fight to the death, and by controlling I mean controlling – you have complete control over every joint in your fighter’s body. This allows you to perfom wild and wonderful combinations to mutilate your opponent. Your imagination is the limit. If you’re still uninspired from all of that, you have access to a list of replays that experts of the game have uploaded showing off their stuff. True masters of their Toribashing craft, the moves they flaunt are jaw dropping (especially considering how hard the system is at first). Give it a go and if you don’t enjoy trying to make up your own moves (and probably failing for the first hundred tries) invite a friend round to have a battle. Whilst the fights themselves may be slow paced, the results are hilarious.
One for the Dragonball Z fans? Well, yes but not solely. Anyone can get a lot of fun out of this gem. Lemmingball Z presents itself to you as a mash up of Lemmings and Dragonball Z; an unlikely mash up that produces fun results. With a simple control scheme you can send your lemming flying around the sky and pulling off signature moves of the Dragonball anime, including screen filling fireballs and giant deathlasers, there’s little not to like in this game. Further exploration of the controls let you power up and zoom or teleport around the map, giving an incredible sense of power. The problem here? Your opponents also have every bit of power you possess. This isn’t so much a problem however as it proves to be a catalyst for hugely destructive battlefields where the earth will be lucky to survive, never mind your character.
Rekkaturvat (Truck Dismount)
As part of a series of Dismount games, Rekkaturvat proved to have the most potential for time wasting. In its simplest form, Rekkaturvat gives you a series of sliders and buttons with which to control a scene and, most importantly, a ‘Go’ button. Twist and turn all these settings then click go and watch the mayhem unfold as your crash test dummy truck driver zooms towards a wall. That’s it. That’s all it is. And yet, there’s something visceral in there that makes you go “I wonder what would happen if I changed this just a little bit, and tweaked that a bit too”. Before you know it an hour has passed.
Other games in this series are Stair Dismount and the rather oddly thought up Sauna Dismount. Though these all offer slightly different control schemes they all retain that same addictive “What would happen if…” nature. Definitely worthy of your hard spent procrastination time.
Last but definitely not least on the list is Stick Ranger RPG. A browser game built around an interesting use of physics, you are first tasked with creating a party of four stickman adventurers – a task that itself is fairly fun when you have such an interesting choice of classes (Gladiator or Boxer? or Lion Tamer or Angel?). It’s important to put together a balanced party, as many of the classes synergise well together to become a powerful force. Done strategising? Great! Now through that tactical mind out the window and proceed to laugh as your party stumbles their way through the levels before them.
Combat in Stick Ranger is self-managing – your party will constantly stumble forwards with the ranged characters shooting at whatever they can whilst the melee fighters rushing to close the distance between themselves and any monsters. The only direct control you have on the party is the ability to pick them up one at a time and drag them to where you want them to be. This ability only really proves itself integral in the later stages where your party will struggle without some outside help.