Login Register
 
Email RSS Feed Twitter Facebook YouTube

10 Days of Front Panel Testing (or why I’m Not a Games Reviewer)

10 Days of Front Panel Testing  (or why I’m Not a Games Reviewer)

It can be hard to appreciate how unwelcoming and difficult games reviewing can be. Recently our intrepid writer Lois dipped her toes into dangerous waters…

This was always going to be an arduous process, trying to get somewhere inaccessible like that. It is just how it is. But unlike trying to climb a rapidly downward moving escalator or scale shifting Saharan sands, I didn’t know that this game wasn’t going to be played. So I made a game of trying to play it, and all in all it was fun, and as a non-gamer, quite possibly more fun than if I had played it!

So what happened? Well first of all my dear friend, ever reliable Tom made it clear that there was a game to be reviewed. I accepted the challenge. Well, I more insisted on taking it. No one would have thought that it was for me. Except me.

I excitedly received the links, the use of which would lead me to the game I was to review. This was going to be technical, but I was keen on seeing what I could do. First of all the FTP link alerted me to the fact there were web pages that didn’t start with the letters “H T T P”, so this was already a learning experience. And I was delighted when on using the user name and password to access the page. I felt I had entered a secret web-world.

And so from within this slimy walled, dark and cavernous kingdom of gamers – on a page which, to be honest, was mostly white with four tiny yellow folders – I looked around and I knew that from among these sparse pale golden treasures, I would find the game. After a brief click on the press kit I decided on the setup.exe option. And Score!!! “Downloading in 2hours”. Nice.

Two hours later and download was complete. I had read around this type of game. I’d seen reviews of Point and Click games from the 90′s until today. I’d heard people’s takes on their top ten ever, and I knew that this was going to be hard pressed to match the likes of Siberia II or Full Throttle. But it didn’t have to, it only needed to be played and reviewed. Unfortunately at this point it disappeared. I found it again, an icon nonchalantly sitting on my desktop and clicked. And this time when I clicked for it to start my whole screen flashed blank. Windows (XP SP3, though at the time I didn’t know that) then reappeared vertically on my horizontal 2006 model laptop before the screen again flashed and normality was resumed. Despite this being unsettling, I repeated the attempt to open the game and went through this small ordeal again.

Something was up, and like the detective in the game I was supposed to be playing, I had to find out what. I spoke to a helpful gamer in New York. A man who felt that taking more than four minuets for responding to an online message warranted an apology (i.e. he was always online). I assumed that he did require the occasional use of washrooms, even if I was loathe to admit it. And perhaps that he took his laptop in a waterproof cover into the shower. Making no further comment on his timely response beyond “thank you” I discussed the situation.

Admittedly, I had seen the system requirements in that cavernous portal. It was there as a label on one of those tiny yellow folders. Now I was going to have to read it. Only problem was, and this was the same reason I had not read it earlier: I wouldn’t know if the system on my laptop matched the requirements because I didn’t know my specifications. Time for help source number two. A more local friend talked me through it and I was soon aware that my laptop wasn’t going to play the game because it was short on some RAM, or something.

I thought about other computers which I could use and the same friend offered to download it to their own. They took a thirty minuet train journey and arrived laptop-in-rucksack, only to find that I didn’t know the network key for my wifi and that the person who did was flying planes at a summer aviation course. So we had tea and the next day I went to the laptop owner’s home and using their own internet tried to again reach the Caves of Point and Click.

To summarize, caves didn’t show up and although the help desk at Hoodwink headquarters were able to remedy that, when we finally downloaded the game the only part that worked was a small snippet of the introduction to the futuristic spy-themed story line. Even on this fully system requirement-meeting machine it simply self exited leaving nothing but that small Borsalino – hat wearing icon. Hoodwinked indeed.

MOAR FROM CALMDOWNTOM!

28 Comments

Leave A Reply
  1. 07/27/2014, 8:27 AM

    Yogurt with probiotics The touchpad buttons
    are effortless to touch with the side of your thumb and
    result in a little click while pressed. Disclaimer: Under Section 5 of DSHEA, the content material within this article or webpage is
    for consumer and educational purposes only. These two bacteria are used today for the production of
    different types of yogurt.

  2. 07/24/2014, 4:32 PM

    Hello there good afternoon, i want to team to this business and do this personally, is it possible to get another contact number because I cannot get into your contacts composed above…
    would love to hear from youu ASAP… many thanks and Lord
    bless

  3. 07/24/2014, 1:17 PM

    i attended green world seminar at oyo state. i haad been conviced.
    after the sdminar we register as a member today was in star five supplier.
    i luv green globe due to their conpensation plan

  4. Annabelle says
    07/21/2014, 5:26 AM

    It’s a shame you don’t have a donate button! I’d definitely
    donate to this fantastic blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account.
    I look forward to fresh updates and will talk about this website with my Facebook group.
    Talk soon!

  5. Blondell says
    07/21/2014, 1:40 AM

    Because the legalese/arm chairing had become out
    of hand here (respectfully), I will bring this all right
    down to Earth (again): simply go back Santa Clara County to shared territory status, indemnify the Giants for losing exclusivity
    over SCCo and alliw the A’s to movfe 35 miles south to San Jose.

    Very, very simple. No need for Sherman Act’s, SCOTUS, Piazza, 9th
    Circuits, Curt Flood Act’s, Tell Judy, etc .
    I’ll helkp yyou guys on the next twine…

  6. Hugh says
    07/18/2014, 6:15 PM

    I know this website presents quality depending
    articles or reviews and other material, is there any other web site which provides these stuff in quality?

  7. Myrna says
    07/18/2014, 7:20 AM

    Never ever heard of a steam shower enclosure up until I ran into this incredible website, so thankful I did
    truly want one right away and finances permitting will likely be going to get one soon

  8. 07/18/2014, 12:43 AM

    What’s up colleagues, good paragraph and nice arguments commented here, I am in fact enjoying by these.

  9. 07/17/2014, 4:39 AM

    Oktoberfest provides an opportunity for part guests to learn about
    costumes and traditions of a different culture – and what is the harm in that.
    Some you may recognize like kickball (which I have three versions of) and dodgeball.

    at the Cole Sport Park Avenue store, located at
    1615 Park Avenue in Park City.

  10. 07/13/2014, 10:34 PM

    So what city iss looking like an even more likely destination? Does this particular change anything?

  11. 07/13/2014, 5:40 PM

    this one is similar to my own enclosure my Partner
    and I purchased only recently, very pleased about
    it for those upon the fence when it comes to purchasing one, do it now, you wont be
    sorry

  12. 07/12/2014, 1:55 PM

    I’ve been surfing on-line more than three hours these
    days, but I never found any fascinating article like yours.
    It’s pretty value enough for me. Personally, if all site owners
    and bloggers made excellent content as you probably
    did, the web can be much more helpful than ever before.

  13. Lynette says
    07/12/2014, 10:19 AM

    San Jose and the Cotchett lawyer look determiined about succeeding
    SJ vs MLB (evidently SJ mayor Reeed had been p. o. ‘ed simply by Selig’s snubbing the gran of the
    10th largest city) If they newed take thbeir particular case to the SCOTUS one would believe it
    would be less than four years. It is dolubtful how the SCOTUS would change any one of its members within 4 years.
    As llpec plus dmoas have suggested when the case receives
    standing, Selig will very likely seek to cut a deal with SJ and prevent a trial.

  14. 03/13/2014, 3:15 PM

    What striking chart. Notwithstanding the top endeavours
    with the Entire world Financial institution this once-a-year
    military budget has usually counted upon Miley Cyrus
    naked to a certain degree, but right now much more that previously.
    From the lighting with this cost-free buy and sell must be screened.
    Machiavellian governmental policies is actually rife. Tend to be
    the leaders rationalized inside subsequent along with sustaining
    political electrical power? Contrasting intercontinental interaction considering that the
    end on the millennium might be such as seeing Miley Cyrus naked right now, and its
    particular similar in the 1800s.

  15. 03/13/2014, 8:06 AM

    Thank you for sharing your info. I truly appreciate your efforts and
    I will be waiting for your next write ups thanks once again.

  16. 03/12/2014, 8:56 AM

    Hi, i think that i noticed you visited my blog so i got here to return the favor?.I’m
    attempting to to find issues to enhance my site!I guess its
    ok to use some of your ideas!!

  17. 03/12/2014, 3:54 AM

    They expect money to come rolling in for doing nothing.
    Companies may choose to end up being represented by those
    people who are likely to draw in enormous numbers of new customers, however in reality any
    kind of advertising and marketing they can acquire, they are going to
    use, particularly when it is totally free. So if you want to
    get started on the right track, you may want to join a good membership site and they can hopefully
    help point you in the right direction.

  18. 03/11/2014, 1:41 AM

    Nous avons dû envoyer environ 100-200 pièces par jour récemment.
    Whilst titanfall down load is often a huge amongst adult men, could
    it be the dwarf amidst coverage. The basic strategy here is to put down your Pylon, Gateway, Assimilator, then another Pylon and a
    Cybernetics Core.

  19. 03/11/2014, 1:05 AM

    thermal  thermel  thermes  thermic  thermit  thermos  theroid  theurgy.
    There is argument about the burial place of Arthur,
    or if he was ever buried at all. At the very least, read the description on the box and
    ask a store associate for their opinion.

  20. 03/10/2014, 11:57 AM

    People will read your information and find this interesting and click on your affiliate link.
    One of the easiest and fastest ways is to start out being an affiliate marketer.
    One of the other easy ways to make money fast, is
    creating your very own product.

  21. 03/10/2014, 10:34 AM

    If you have a background in writing and have a good grasp in the English language,
    you can set up a website and offer your writing services there.
    Well, if you answered yes to these questions, then make today the day that
    you change your life forever. These are a few pros and cons
    of ISAs that you should know about before making your mind up.

  22. 03/10/2014, 5:37 AM

    Ebooks are an excellent way to drive targeted traffic to your website.
    It was that although there are definitely some dishonest and misleading programs out there,
    there are in fact different programs that can and will work for different people.

    Money saved is money earned too, just like in real life.

  23. 03/10/2014, 4:52 AM

    You might think that this is too obvious as to be almost self explanatory.

    The more clearly that you are able to picture exactly what it is that you desire in your mind,
    the more accurately you are able to define your goals.

    When in the process of choosing your keywords, it’s a good
    idea to choose keywords that have some competition but not too much.

  24. 03/09/2014, 7:44 PM

    Tarot is not used to choose your huge life decisions and solution
    your straightforward ‘yes/no’ questions as a lot of of you may believe, Tarot must be utilized as a guidebook to
    assist you make the choice by yourself This is why the issue currently being questioned in a tarot
    reading is of much value.

    There are truly two distinct kinds of Tarot readings:

    Open Readings and Query Readings

    Open up Readings:

    Open up studying simply signifies the tarot reading through
    will address more substantial factors of your existence, not for smaller problems or to answer specific inquiries.
    This is usually performed when getting into a new chapter of your life, these kinds of as: Starting a new family members, Getting married
    or graduating from college. Open up readings can be directed for a specified matter, e.g.
    Overall health or Associations and so forth.. To support the
    reading through go in that course and give you a general notion of what
    is likely on at that point in your lifestyle and to manual you
    to make the proper selections.

    Query Readngs

    Queries readings are practically the precise reverse
    of open up readings. Issue readings deal with a particular situation or factor in your existence.
    As described over, it is not intended to
    answer your issue with a ‘Yes’ or a ‘No’ , but to guide
    you in a direction to make the choice for yourself. This
    brings back the idea of how essential the query currently being asked is.

    The best way to outline how a tarot looking through operates, is to encounter
    it for your self. We are listed here to educate and
    give individuals with a new understanding. Encounter your free of charge tarot reading through by clicking
    here: http://afreetarotreading.blogspot.com

  25. 03/09/2014, 11:51 AM

    People will read your information and find this
    interesting and click on your affiliate link. The internet presents a sea of opportunity,
    all available to you through your internet connection. But before promoting or selling
    any products you must have to choose only your interested products.

  26. 03/08/2014, 8:16 AM

    Set up a calendar next to your computer screen, if possible, so you can keep
    track of dates and deadlines. This is basically when you receive a commission for selling someone else’s product.
    So if you want to get started on the right track, you may want
    to join a good membership site and they can hopefully help point you in the
    right direction.

  27. 03/08/2014, 1:46 AM

    What’s Going down i’m new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It
    positively useful and it has aided me out loads. I’m hoping to contribute & aid different customers like its helped me.
    Good job.

  28. 03/07/2014, 9:26 PM

    Keywords are words and phrases that prospects type
    into search engines such as Google, Yahoo and Bing as they search
    for the products you offer. Maybe not because you want to, but because you have
    to. Make big money through affiliate network is a recent
    trend among internet marketer.

Leave a Reply