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Installing Bulletstorm on PC – A Rant

Installing Bulletstorm on PC – A Rant

Here’s a pretty much verbatim email I received from site member Ealiom on his troubles with installing Bulletstorm on PC which I bought him for his birthday:

Bulletstorm is a fun game but actually getting in to play it was an exercise in frustration.
You have to log in to Windows Live to play annoying but fair enough. Then I realized that I couldn’t remember my login. Memories of Gnarley Harley’s podcast rant made me shake my head; stupid stupid Microsoft.
Here’s where I began to get annoyed. After I did remember my login (which means after I typed in every possible combination of passwords and usernames I could remember) Windows Live told me that it had to update, that I had to quit out of Bulletstorm itself for it to update. All of this despite telling me on the front screen that I only needed Windows Live to play online. I had to login and update to play the single player. Dammit! FINE! Whatever!

Okay where’s the quit button? Where’s the damn menu? huh WTF none?

Bulletstorm’s initial screen ‘before’ you login to Windows Live has a nice piece of text asking you to press Enter to continue and not in that way where it actual means ‘any’ button. You have to actually press enter.
No other button press sends you to a quit menu and pressing enter sends you to the Windows Live login and a never ending loop that cheerfully requests that you quit the game to update Windows Live so that you can play online. WTF is this shit!!!?? I don’t want to play online!

So I begin pressing buttons one at a time. No success not even the infamous windows key works. Alt-Tab, Escape, Tilde, Tab, even Q since it has a hard on for specific keys. No key would send me to any screen to quit the game until I hit F11 and the game minimizes.
From my desktop I had to manually stop the Bulletstorm process, sensing its closure Windows Live automatically updates. Grinding my teeth I wait for it to finish then load the game back up. Press Enter to continue… “Windows Live requires an update please quit Bulletstorm to update Windows Live.” WTF!!! FUCK YOU!!

Three times I had to update Windows Live before it deemed itself updatified enough for me to play the god damn game. When I did get into the game the menu system also used a combination of mouse presses and keyboard keys to do anything. Why? Is there something wrong with on screen buttons now? It was horrendous, and quite obviously a symptom of being made for the 360 first and foremost.

Only then an hour after installing it I started the game and it was awesome over the top nonsense fun! It just a shame that I had to wade through such convoluted bollocks to get there.

Is this the future of games? Are we going to be neck deep in passwords, usernames, accounts and other assorted 3rd party shite?

MOAR FROM CALMDOWNTOM!

21 Comments

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  1. Angry Adam says
    09/06/2012, 12:47 AM

    Ya…..WTF is right! I’m only on my 3rd attempt and after reading this, I just wasted $20 on this cause it was to appease my boredom in a hotel room on the road……there’s only 1 company that’s worse than MS for making annoying features….activision. yup, they are a far worse company because they are the biggest money grubbing company that buys out all your fav franchises. E.G. Blizzard is now owned by craptivision and just go look at current reviews on Diablo 3, they ruined, utterly RUINED the diablo franchise by adding real money options, aka pay-to-win/enjoy, otherwise ‘haha we got your money already’

    but I digress

    Seriously, who the FUCK let this crapbag of an installation/account set up release to the public??? Probly some senior CEO said to his 5 yo kid ‘Hey, you think it’s good?’

    FFS, on my 4th try now, about 3 hours of BS, thx again for being this shittiest mass company out there.

    This makes me want to sell my windows puter and buy a new one with only linux

  2. bevmaker says
    09/01/2012, 8:26 PM

    The update is running now for 23 hours. I do not know what % has loaded if any.
    There is no update at all. What is downloading is the whole game. If I paid for the game, have the disc, why do I have to burn 1000 Watts of power for a day or more to download the game? Do not understand exactly but I am sure the motive is just greed. There is no support from Live. NEVER AGAIN.

    bevmaker

  3. bevmaker says
    09/01/2012, 5:08 AM

    The game is good. I played through once. It took me about 5 weeks to install it.
    The key is to understand that it takes 10 ot 15 hours to download the update if you do not interrupt the process. If you have no patience, it kicks you back to start again. Steam is not better. These people do not have any respect for the customers. Pox on both their houses. Do not know what can be done. It is disgusting. I like the Russian games. I will not buy any Steam or Live game if they do not change. If you watch CNN or other US news, they give you one minute news and about 10 minutes commercials. All this gives capitalism a bad name.
    In South Africa there is some kind of sex strike going on. Women are fighting back.
    It could be an idea.
    Cheers, bevmaker

  4. beezer says
    07/01/2012, 4:36 PM

    I managed to register the serial against a banned windows live account – now I can’t play the damn game at all. Microsoft support worse than useless.

  5. Eric is Angry says
    06/11/2012, 9:23 PM

    ALL OF THIS IS SO TRUE! Here is my story: I’m going on a 6 hour car ride so I go buy a bunch of shit to do for the car ride. I decided I wanted to play some kind of game in the car. I bought Bulletstorm. With Bulletstorm I bought Sony headphones, a headphone extension cord and a wired Xbox controller. It cost 120$ total. I get in the car and start the Windows LIVE game and it freezes up constantly. It doesn’t minimize AT ALL, even when I Ctrl+Alt+Delete. NOW IM STUCK because I cant play offline and i’m trapped in this boring ass car.

  6. lloyd pledge says
    06/07/2012, 1:15 PM

    hi guys, totally understand your shit, been through the exact shit you have. the best and easy way out is to download fairlight crack, gets around all the shit and just lets you play and i gaurantee it works.

  7. 05/28/2012, 12:19 PM

    [...] towards the “consolization” of PC games and in particular the poor port of a game controls. Bulletstorm stoked the fires of this hatred because rather than use the usual point and click that has served us well for decades. Bulletstorm [...]

  8. Simon says
    03/31/2012, 11:46 AM

    So why don’t we do something about it. It only takes one man to make a difference. But he has to blow somthing up…….Sorry guys but bitching does not help, but bitching with my 9mm might. Anyone prepared to contribute to my legal costs after?

  9. janlei says
    03/24/2012, 10:11 PM

    i agree to all of you guys..i only want to play single player but that fukn gfwl olways pushng us to go online..fuck you windows live

  10. Pants987987 says
    12/26/2011, 10:30 PM

    You guys are lucky to even GET to a point where an update is required. Damn Windoze Live won’t even allow me to CREATE an account! Gives me an error message when I try. Says that I’ve discovered an unknown error, but gives me no other instructions.

    Worst… application…. ever….

  11. Angry says
    12/22/2011, 4:44 PM

    Maybe before I even buy a game from now on, I’ll look up what DRM if has and see if there is a good crack / hack. It seems the only practical way to actually play a game you have purchased is “illegally”.

  12. wacky wendy says
    12/14/2011, 4:16 PM

    I’v had enough now WTF 5 updates and the fucking thing still wont play keeps wanting to update how many more times does it need to update god damm it omfg i am so fucking angry why do they have to do this Ahhhhhhhhhhhh quick someone give me a vallium pill jeeeeeeze microsoft go take a fricking leap off the biggest bridge there is …..

  13. Highrize says
    11/18/2011, 4:23 PM

    WTF wont buy again !!

  14. Rich says
    09/24/2011, 1:28 AM

    Agree with all the above posts. Microsoft has gone to the bottom of my list with this Windows Live bullshit. 3 hours and I still can’t get the fooking game to play. These bastards should be taken out and whipped.

  15. FREDDY says
    08/25/2011, 1:47 PM

    I FCKN HATE MICROSOFT i spend hard earnd cash on a that wont fucking work every time i try to start it up the microsoft realease date verify thingy pops up and when i tell it to verify it says i have no internet conection wtf do have to do for this never ending loop of shit to end. die microsoft

  16. Jon says
    08/23/2011, 2:05 AM

    It brings tears to my eyes thinking of all the poor sods that couldn’t play the game they had just spent a small fortune on because a multi-billion-dollar corporation known at Microsoft can’t get their shit together.

    This is the first game that I spent more time installing than playing. EA Games really kicked themselves in the ass by letting this ms live parasite suck us all into a pit of frustration and vomit!! EA might as well start selling shit on the streets if they consider brand stretching to the likes of friggin microsoft.

    EA games, do the world a favour, leave microsoft with the full time occupation of fucking up the world of OS, and keep the gaming world to amongst us gamers . It is the last place we want the MS disease to spread!!

  17. Tommy says
    08/03/2011, 2:32 PM

    FkN Shithouse windows live! FK YOU!!!

  18. RoXL says
    07/27/2011, 10:14 AM

    I’m right now in this endless installing-procedure. Makes me mad. What a crazy bull(storm)shit is this?
    ….I’ll never ever buy a Windows Live game again :(!

  19. vortex says
    07/08/2011, 1:41 PM

    I had exactly the same problem with bulletstorm and updating windows live. Made me mad! I will avoid that shit in the future, but I wish I could send a bomb to someone responsible!!!!!

  20. SpartanMBR says
    05/10/2011, 5:27 PM

    fkn mission to get the update completed. same shit wit left for dead 2 – steam update seems worde than windows live. hope this is a phase that will fade away, gaming won’t be the same otherwise.

  21. Sam Suicide says
    04/02/2011, 3:44 AM

    i agree there is an endless wall of shit to just play a dam game these days. what happened to simple install and then play. i say forget all this other no sencicle bullshit and just get on with the dam game.

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