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Top 10 times when its acceptible for a guy to cry: movies

Top 10 times when its acceptible for a guy to cry: movies

While it’s socially acceptable for lady folk to break into tears at the mere sight of sparkly Edward and whiney Bella or to unleash torrents of tears to whatever sentimental, sob-fest Nicholas Sparks has written on his Notebook, it’s not the same for guys. We get a select few moments when we can lose it and not lose the respect of our peers, the esteem of our colleagues and our attractiveness to the lady folk. No one wants a blubbering, emotional man-child breaking into tears every time they see the movie poster for Marley and Me. On the other hand, sometimes we are allowed to let our manly facades of steadfast stoicism slip. Whether it’s a single tear rolling down a cheek like a lone soldier who has lost his platoon, or a steady flow self-consciously wiped away with the heels of our hands lest the lady folk look down on us, sometimes it’s okay to cry at movies. These are the times:

10. Grave of the Fireflies
There’s a lot of sad movies on this list, but I don’t think any of them rival this one. While other selections on this list have complex reasons for why they are affecting or particularly evocative to a guy, this one is just straight up sad. The horrors of war juxtaposed with the innocence of childhood is brutally exposed throughout this move. As ever, the soldiers and generals fight the battles but it’s the regular people who suffer, and the most vulnerable have the least chance of survival. Nothing on this list is sadder, if you’re unmoved by this then you’re dead inside.

9. Its a Wonderful life
As with most people my age, I look back on movies from before 1970 with a mixture of confusion and trepidation. I’m never sure when someone’s going to break into song and dance, expose themselves as casually racist or slap a woman to put her in place. Despite all this, I saw this movie and the message and the story were so universal it was like it was written yesterday. Too brilliant to be explained on a website like this, you should simply go and see this movie if you haven’t already. Many cinemas play it at Christmas and its one of the finest movies ever made. The moment when George’s brother says “”To My Big Brother George, The Richest Man In Town”, I can’t help but struggle to maintain my composure. He means rich in love…….Goddamit I’m losing it again!

8. The Shawshank Redemption
This movie remains an inspiration for every filmmaker who has worked hard at something only for it to flop at the cinema. Shawshank performed terribly at the box office then went on to build a cult audience and eventually became such a well loved movie that it broke into the mainstream, boosted the careers of its two leads and frequently tops the lists of best movies of all time. There are many tough, emotional scenes in the movie, but the moment when Tim Robbins escapes the prison and emerges from the sewer pipe and raises his arms up to the sky cleansed is so iconic its instantly recognisable. The ending on the beach is a little over wrought; it would have been far more elegant to have ended with Morgan Freeman on the bus unsure of his fate. Nonetheless the scene where the two are reunited raises a lump in the throat and the emotional payoff is justified by how much shit (literal and metaphorical) Andy Dufresne has had to go through.

7. The Devil and Daniel Johnston
The word “crazy” is over used in popular culture. Whether you’re waiting in line for a sub thinking “if this guy orders ranch AND chipotle dressing I’m going to go crazy” or you’re listening to Britney sing “Let’s go crazy”, you’re not thinking of Daniel Johnston crazy. His kind of crazy is more the type where you try to kill yourself and your friends, communicate with and battle the Devil every day and write some of the most beautiful but weird music ever committed to tape. Inspiring everyone from the Butthole Surfers to Nirvana, Johnston battled his illness all his life and in this documentary, you feel as much pain for him as you do for his family and friends who he put through great stress and even physical danger. While there are hints of Johnston’s genius throughout the movie, it’s not till the closing moments of the film when we hear one of his finest and most poignant songs and see Daniel completely enraptured in his music that we understand how talented he really is but also how high a price he has paid for that talent. When the titles roll and “Some things last a long time” plays, only a robot would feel nothing for the guy.

6. To Kill a Mockingbird
Another classic that I only watched fully last year, this movie is driven by an absolute master performance by Gregory Peck. It wasn’t until I watched this film that I realised exactly what kind of good person I had already aspired to be: it was Atticus Finch. Gregory Peck makes Atticus a sympathetic and grounded character that is nonetheless heroic beyond any action movie hero. He is brave, paternal, honest, protective, forgiving and willing to put his own reputation and safety on the line when he feels that something must be done to stop evil, even if it means standing up against a whole community. In my mind the most memorable scene will always be the tense showdown when Atticus is spat at and shows immense character and restraint in face of deliberate and twisted provocation. The most affecting scene though immedietly precedes that one when Atticus’ journeys to Tom Robisnon’s family to tell them what has happened to their son…

5. Schindler’s List
One of the films on the list that you absolutely CANNOT lose man points for crying at, Schindler’s list chronicles the real life story of the struggles of one man to do good at one of the darkest points in recorded human history. The moral complexity of the film comes from the fact that the protagonist of the movie enjoys great success as he saves Jewish people, thus posing philosophical questions about the nature of good or altruistic acts. In the end, despite all the people he saved he must weigh up his charitable deeds against his material gains. In this painful scene, Schindler considers his own motives and wonders how many more human lives his attractive pin could have bought.

4. I am Legend
A movie with as much good as bad, this Will Smith vehicle fails to make good use of the excellent source material. The original story by Richard Matheson was ahead of its time, dealing with a post apocalyptic world of vampires and dealing with themes of alienation, loneliness and morality, the main character in Matheson’s novel realises that in killing the inhuman he is losing his own humanity. The alternate ending version of the movie is better than the original theatrical release and despite a disappointingly formulaic version of the story, Smith turns in a good, believable performance. The best character however is his dog, Sam (Samantha). The death of man’s best friend is always tragic, but when your pet dies defending you from zombie dogs and then you have to kill that same pet with your own bare hands…..that justifies man tears.

3. The Deerhunter
Christopher Walken and Robert Deniro at their absolute best, portraying two regular guys ruined by war. Walken, racked with guilt and driven insane by the atrocities he’s seen can’t stop participating in the games of Russian roulette that his captors had forced him to play when he was a POW. This scene is beautifully acted and utterly tragic. We’ve all been in a situation where we’ve tried to talk a friend round from doing something stupid and here, Deniro is so close, so close to getting through to his friend.

2. Field of Dreams
Unresolved father issues will always strike a chord with sympathetic guys, regardless of their own relationships with their dads. In Field of Dreams, Ray (Kevin Costner) chases his dream and builds a baseball field in the middle of his cornfield costing him time, money and almost ruining his family farming business. From the beginning, he follows the voice in his head as it sends him on one crazy journey after another. Melancholy and sentimental, the movie nonetheless touches on the male desires to both gain their parents approval and also to rebel. In the end, Ray’s journey was intended to give everyone a second shot whether it was to get Terrence Mann to write again or give Moonlight Graham a chance to bat in the big leagues. When it’s all over, Ray is rewarded with a second chance himself…to play catch with his dad.
Wanna have catch?

1. Rocky 3
The wrinkled and wizened heart of the Rocky franchise was Mickey, but it was his own heart that couldn’t go on after Rocky 3. Old and weary, Mickey wants desperately to retire with Rocky feeling that neither of them has anything left to prove. Rocky’s pride is hurt though as he comes to realise Mickey protected him from the toughest opponents and he vows to face the formidable Clubber Lang with or without Mickey’s help. Guilted into helping Rocky train, it all goes wrong as Mickey’s weak heart begins to fail before the fight. By the time that Rocky returns having been soundly beaten, Mickey is almost gone too. Even though Rocky doesn’t say, you suspect Mickey knows he lost but is happy they can both now rest. Despite being hard on Rocky through all the movies his last words are his most honest.

“Is it over?” growls Mickey.

“Yeah, yeah, it’s all over,” answers Rocky, putting his hand on his mentor’s chest.

“Hey, listen, what happened?” whispers Mickey in a quavering voice.

“It was a knockout,” replies Rocky.

“What round? What round?” Mickey smiles.

“Second round,” Rocky says.

Mickey struggles to laugh with joy as he believes Rocky as won the fight. “Yeah, I knew it. That’s good. We did it, huh?”

Rocky stresses that Mickey needs to go to a hospital, but Mickey is still overjoyed.

“We did everything right. I did everything right…” continues Mickey.

“No, no, listen,” Rocky stops him. “We ain’t done everything right. Listen, we still got more to do. Mick, whatever you want to do, we’ll do it, okay?”

“I love you, kid,” Mickey says. “I love you.”

MOAR FROM CALMDOWNTOM!

  • blurg

    What about the movie with that dog that always waited for its master? that was super sad because the guy was dead and the dog was still faithful

  • Treasure696

    Wow. No Old Yeller. Such a depressing movie. I get sad even thinking about watching it.

  • http://calmdowntom.com/members/admin/ Tom

    Yeah, The Pyjama movie is a killer too.

  • Rachyl

    What about “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas?”

  • SiP73

    I’d agree with Schindler’s list, but the others that I’ve seen on the list left me dry-eyed. It’s a Wonderful Life just left me feeling depressed. A whole film of bad news with a 10 minute happy ending? No thanks.

    Movies I’d include are Life is Beautiful, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest & Cinema Paradiso. For TV, the last episode of Blackadder Goes Fourth always brings a lump to my throat.

  • John

    Without mention of The Green Mile and the inclusion of I am legend I cant take this list too seriously lol.

  • eltomo

    Cool Runnings and Lion King are my two!

  • http://penilepapules.info penile papules

    Superb listing of themes you got! All of them are nice, but my pick was the last one, the only problem is the background doesn’t seem to load when viewing with internet explorer? Anyone else having that problem? thanks!

  • Ben

    No Return of the King? It’s the only film ever to make me ball my eyes out!

  • Rami

    Bravheart ending was the most emotional scene for me.

  • http://www.google.com Jason

    Gotta say the only time I almost shed man tears is when Bruce Willis pushes the button at the end of Armageddon…

  • Cole

    Lion King, stampede. Straight up.

  • wefpowefj

    I guarantee anyone who watches clannad, then clannad: after story will be in tears. If clannad doesn’t put you in tears, clannad: after story will definitely put you in tears.

  • erik

    ive seen all of those movies and i didnt cry, but one movie was Marley and Me… who does that why would they make that movie!!

  • http://calmdowntom.com/members/admin/ Tom

    I know what you mean, that’s why I went for Field of Dreams :)

  • hideous

    Very good choices here, and I agree, if Grave of the fireflies doesn’t get to you, you aren’t really a human being. But one more thing I find worthy of a mans tears, it’s the reconciling of a father and son. I respectfully submit the Tim Burton film “Big Fish”, as a worthy equal to your listed choices.

  • http://tamstamsetplatines.com toma

    I can’t believe you forgot Armageddon!!!
    I would also add to that list Gladiator, and The Pursuit of Happyness.

  • Ravechimp

    Er… not all of Armageddon obviously. Just the bit were Bruce Willis um… and he sacrifices er… never mind. I think I was hungover and emotional when I watched that movie. Return Of The Jedi? I’ll get my coat.

  • http://calmdowntom.com/members/admin/ Tom

    Never actually seen that Sgt but I heard its pretty tragic. I got a lot of heat for I Am Legend Ravechimp, but if you cried at Armageddon then the man-council will make you hand your penis back.

  • Sgt_jake

    Ok – what about pay it forward? Because i get a lot of crap for that…

  • Ravechimp

    No Turner & Hooch? No Armageddon? Shame on you Tom ;-) Oh, and get I am Legend off there.

  • Matt

    I’ve never seen any of these movies, Huh, interesting.